Friday, March 29, 2013


In other CRAZY news:

When the police searched the home of the maniac who murdered more than 20 small children and their teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School they reportedly found NRA certificates in the maniac's and the maniac's mother's names.  They also found an NRA handbook on pistol use.

This caused the NRA administrators (gun and ammo lobbyists) to immediately institute operation Charlie Rabid Action Zero Yankee, or -- CRAZY, as it's known in the NRA manifesto.  The NRA employs CRAZY whenever "bad news" of Another American Mass Murder occurs.

 "The NRA denies the maniac who killed five and six year old children was ever an NRA member even though a certificate in his name on an NRA official membership form has been found. What's important is not some piece of paper that may or may not even exist but that the maniac obviously watched too many violent video games, violent video games like the ones our violent video game partners create."  NRA mouthpiece Wayne – Call Me Crazy – LaPierre said.

If the maniac wasn't an NRA member then why were NRA certificates found in his possessions?  It's a mystery for the ages, because everyone knows the NRA would never lie about something like that.  Would they?

Police also found more than 1600 ammo rounds during their search.  The NRA has fought any efforts to keep records on how many guns or how much ammunition an individual buys.

In the five minutes that the maniac was firing on five and six year old children he discharged 154 rounds.  Even after killing himself he still had 100 rounds left. 

Limit clip size?  Don't be ridiculous.  If maniacs have limited amounts of ammo for killing little children it will step on their Second Amendment rights.

 Republicants are divided about what to do on immigration reform, some want it, some don't.  But there's one thing ALL Republicants agree on and that it's smart politics to make nice with Hispanics since they're a potent voting constituency.  

That gentler, kinder Republicant Hispanic strategy was on full display yesterday when a Republicant Congressman called immigrant workers 'wetbacks.'  Wetbacks, if you don't know, is a term of endearment that Hispanics always like to hear.  Two thumbs up to Congressman Don Young on his Hispanic outreach.

Another Republicant – Dale Peterson – who likes to use his guns in his political ads because "We Republicants is tough on crime" was arrested AGAIN for shoplifting.

He's been arrested before for stealing beer and cans of cashews.  This latest run in with the law happened after Peterson was spotted by security guards at a Sam's Club eating a can of cashews and then putting the can back on the shelf.

Zwicky doesn’t see what the big deal is.  Can't a Republicant who uses his guns in political ads so he appears tough on crime steal cashews and beer without being made to look like some kind of hypocritical buffoon? 

Zwicky likes cashews and beer too, tho Zwicky isn't a Republicant who's tough on crime so Zwicky foolishly pays cash.
In other gun news:

If continual mass murders aren't enough to convince the cowardly idiots in Washington to vote for serious gun control laws maybe economics will.  The cost of gun deaths in 2005, the last year for which figures are available, is estimated at $37 BILLION


The cost of treatment for those who survived gun violence is estimated at $3.7 BILLION that year.

A Faux News poll found that 85% of respondents want universal background checks.  Faux is fair and balanced so the poll must be too.


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